I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We need to rekindle our bromance
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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