Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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