She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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