I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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