The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
