Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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