is your mom at the bar?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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