I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
