STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize