how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
