Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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