So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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