i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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