woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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