ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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