kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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