What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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