She is in my trunk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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