If i come over, it means nothing
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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