Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's never too late to be topless.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
