Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
