im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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