when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
