she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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