I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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