Got a toothbrush?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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