I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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