btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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