Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
