how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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