his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
