You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
