yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
organizing the empties. That sober.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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