We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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