All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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