i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
