Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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