Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.

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  (313): i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd. http://tfl.nu/67pd
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (1650)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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  (708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (1943)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9395) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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  (478): closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college. http://tfl.nu/w89j
  Replies (17) Good night (4322) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5175) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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  (801): He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay... http://tfl.nu/tir1
  Replies (20) Good night (1375) Bad night (4658)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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  (901): You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury http://tfl.nu/7ksy
  Replies (17) Good night (5410) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??

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  (405): This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine?? http://tfl.nu/98s1
  Replies (6) Good night (2333) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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  (315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4
  Replies (20) Good night (5645) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

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  (513): Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail? http://tfl.nu/pghy
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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  (417): Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants http://tfl.nu/tk01
  Replies (1) Good night (808) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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  (850): I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud. http://tfl.nu/igxs
  Replies (1) Good night (1248) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

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  (775): My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case http://tfl.nu/owkn
  Replies (14) Good night (1627) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex

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  (775): She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/ps9c
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (165)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely

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  (617): no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely http://tfl.nu/0b34
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (704)

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