Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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(313): Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs http://tfl.nu/nept

Replies (12) Good night (3017) Bad night (1105)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

didn't that happen to you last weekend?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

shut up.

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(781): i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention. (1-781): didn't that happen to you last weekend? (781): shut up. http://tfl.nu/cv2d

Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (2078)
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(210): View more from Texas

she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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(210): she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice http://tfl.nu/lxs5

Replies (13) Good night (858) Bad night (3571)
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(360): View more from Washington

Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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(360): Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving' http://tfl.nu/j3uq

Replies (25) Good night (3913) Bad night (1327)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea

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(587): Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea http://tfl.nu/gdya

Replies (5) Good night (2867) Bad night (1607)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"

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(215): OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package" http://tfl.nu/jnsz

Replies (13) Good night (2008) Bad night (4452)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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(870): I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me. http://tfl.nu/cvaz

Replies (9) Good night (2249) Bad night (1341)
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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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(816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o

Replies (1) Good night (1401) Bad night (635)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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(540): Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived. http://tfl.nu/ouvr

Replies (8) Good night (2711) Bad night (701)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

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(719): Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again? http://tfl.nu/dyj9

Replies (3) Good night (1476) Bad night (587)
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(214): View more from Texas

Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

(1-214): View more from Texas

I love you.

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(214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz

Replies (5) Good night (2643) Bad night (650)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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(605): it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps http://tfl.nu/vib3

Replies (6) Good night (833) Bad night (416)
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(989): View more from Michigan

No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

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(989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj

Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (291)
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(817): View more from Texas

No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.

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(817): No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5k9

Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (666)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once

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(617): she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once http://tfl.nu/vv4r

Replies (5) Good night (1122) Bad night (335)

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