ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

  Fav 4 1876 2729

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  did you hook up at the wedding?

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.

  Fav 30 1671 3921

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

  Fav 11 5467 1147

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

  Fav 16 2296 4037

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

  Fav 9 6632 2019

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

  Fav 19 4911 2604

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

  Fav 18 5690 1175

  share tweet
  

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

  Fav 5 2889 1294

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

  Fav 2 904 713

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

  Fav 9 2270 1071

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!

  Fav 4 1905 704

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (775): View more from Nevada

  She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

  Fav 3 836 639

  share tweet
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.

  Fav 1 827 506

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.

  Fav 1 788 349

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (714): View more from California

  Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power

  Fav 6 784 267

  share tweet
  

Randomize