im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
