YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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