This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
