This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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