Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
