Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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