I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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