Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
