Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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