We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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