You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
smell my finger.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
