Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
