Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
