Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
