Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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