So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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