I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
