i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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