Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The adults are the big ones right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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