Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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