I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
