Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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