So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
